DealDash 411: Hints, tips, strategies and commentary - Well, Well, Well, What do we have here?

Some of you may have received this gem in your email inbox today:

today, DealDash will reveal groundbreaking news.
The event is rumoured to be:
“the best savings opportunity in Penny Auctions this year”.

To see what the buzz is all about, be alert and watch the
site today at 4PM Pacific time. When the timer on the front
page runs out, an unmatched offer will be made available
for a very limited time only.
 
The offer will run on a first-come, first-serve basis.
Only the fastest buyers will be able to take advantage of
the offer.

The offer will open at exactly:
4PM (Pacific Time)
5PM (Mountain Time)
6PM (Central Time)
7PM (Eastern Time)

Click here to see tonights upcoming auctions on DealDash.
Today’s special auction lineup includes Apple Macbook Pro,
iPad 2 with 3G, Kitchenaid Mixer, dozens of gift cards,
40-Inch HDTV, gaming systems, toys, household items and
overall more products auctioned off in one single evening
than ever before.

PS. Remember that DealDash offers free shipping on all items!
The DealDash Team

As we know, i typically focus on the minute, non-important aspects of things. That is just how my brain works. So here's what i thought right after i read their email.

1) I did have an in-appropriate tee hee hee (that was a giggle) at "groundbreaking news." So i only in-appropriately laughed because i am pretending that they chose "ground-breaking" because of the perfect timing of the east coast's lovely earthquake (tee hee hee). Calm down everyone, natural disasters are awful and people lose things and get hurt and sometimes die and it is a tragedy. Yes. But it is also awesome that there were tons of news reports about how the West Coasters are laughing saying "You ain't felt nothing yet" and all the east coasters were running into the streets and crying on their cell phones. And then every news station brought in their expert trying to explain how the earthquake in the east was the entire plate moving so lots and lots of people felt it all over the coast, and therefore west coasters should realized this was a "big" earthquake. While our empathy level is high for the situation, please stop trying to convince us with experts that this was different, scarier, and worse than a California earthquake, a Japan earthquake, etc. I don't care how many experts you bring on the news, you aren't going to convince anyone of this. So quit trying to justify everyone freaking out because it was "worse." It is just an earthquake, and you can be upset about having an earthquake, but don't try to prove it was some "groundbreaking" (hahaha) event. Seriously though, you have way bigger problems out there. They are called hurricanes and tornadoes. They destroy everything. You should be happy to have a little ground shaking instead of one of these storms. Now those are worse and scare the poopies out of me.
(FYI, a friend was a beach in jersey (i guess technically that is the jersey shore) and lots of girls were shrieking and running from the water yelling "there is going to be a tsunami!" Must i give a lesson in plate tectonics and tsunamis? I will if helps.

2) Love that DD is building suspense. So much fun! Everyone is wondering "what are they going to do? i must set am alarm at my the exact time to make sure i don't miss out of the greatest offer ever!" Good marketing ploy guys! Pat on the back for DD marketing team. Very creative and you know what, it will work.

3) I love the this is "rumoured" to be the best savings in all PAs this year. You know it is totally legit to say stuff like this. It probably is rumoured somewhere, maybe like the DD office. Just like it is rumoured that i have a million dollars, a yacht, and am a super cool person.  i noticed that they chose to say "rumoured" and not "rumored." yes, both are generally accepted as correct spelling, however, the American English version is "rumor." "Rumour" is preferred spelling among Canadians, Austrailans and Brits. So, the real question is, who is the canadian, brit or aussie over there at DD? i wish in emails, you could preface stuff with an accent call out. like (accent: Australian) and then you read the email with an australian voice in your head. Or the Accent: English so you know to say al - u - MIN -i- um instead of AL- uminum. oh well.

So we are all sitting at the edge of our chairs to see what glee and delight will befall us at the specified time. If it's an ipad someone get one for me! I'm thinking this could be a solution to just offering all those bid specials and that we all were bummed on.  maybe this is more exclusive, or just a new way to present it so it doesn't always look like they need to have a bid sale. If so, it's working. Here are my guesses:

First guess: Bid Special, limited to the first few. people (or hundred people, who really knows).
Second guess: Free Ipads for first 5 people (i call dibs!)
third guess: snoopy snow cone maker.
fourth guess: free tours of the deal dash headquarters.


Fyi I'm throwing out my "get out grammar" free card on this one. I had about two seconds to type this sucker and i know it's not pretty. Did i mention that as long as you call out that you know you are butchering the English language, then it is totally acceptable? Though later today i'll go back and fix it. nails on a chalkboard people. That's what it feels like to me. I know i have issues.